pure backstabbing and shear deceits.
until the bruises becomes so apparent that it can't be anymore obselete.
none should.
no hidden-agenda.
no motives.
no HYPOCRISY.
tohpok-jui. sorry for whatever has happened. well, you're a strong girl, you'll move on.
hazel. thanks for being there for me, my never-failed-me-neighbour.
zachary. you're still my favorite best toe, you'll be fine without those hypocrites, i've dealt with mine, and i'm fine. and u're not so different from me. I LOVE MAX =)
4e5. you're one hell of a class.
suntannians. and you're one hell of a group.
yeah, one hell of a year.
|
[edit] OH and i have a really talented friend by the name of claris.
she's a real smart kiddo, real nice, real sweet, and real dumb (gasp)
why? because:
(in the movies)
claris: oh no, my mom's calling. -picks up phone and speaks in a hush tone-
mom: where're you?
claris: oh. i'm.. uhm.. in the toilet.
me and stef: -turns and stares and laughs hysterically-
and so i bet you figured, her mom knew she was lying because after she sed 'toilet',
the movie roared with battle clashes and gongs (kingdom of heaven).
now, that's a real loud FLUSH.[/edit]
current:
song| radio
by| alkaline trio
mood| hysterical
waking up next to nothing; after dreaming of you and me
i'm waking up all alone.
in case you haven't heard i'm sick and tired;
of trying
if columbus was wrong i'd drive straight off the edgetoday was great.
chemistry lecture actually WORKED this time.
lol.
i ripped this off the net (friendster):
See this you wont believe it, it's superb, it
just tells what type of a person you are really
great enjoy.
Imagine you walked into a small hut by the
river in the jungle,
You pushed open the door, and in front of you
is a small round table. In the middle of the
table is
a round food tray with 5 kinds of fruit in it.
There are:
a.)apple
b.)banana
c.)strawberry
d.)peach
e.)orange
Which fruit will u choose? Your choice
reveals
about u!
Test results :
Please SCROLL DOWN ......
(after a long scroll)
a.)if you chosen apple: that means you are a
person who loves to eat apples
b.)if you chosen banana: that means you are a
person who loves to eat bananas
c.)if you chosen strawberry: that means you
are a person who loves to eat strawberries
d.)if you chosen peach: that means you are a
person who loves to eat peaches
e.) if you chosen orange: that means you are a
person who loves to eat oranges
----
tsk tsk, brightened my day hoho.
and training tomorrow oh dear.
myprayer` 6:57 PM
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
|
current:
song| lift up your eyes
by| planet shakers
mood| insane
i see heaven before me,
angels passing around me,
here i stand in awe of your beauty;
captured by your holiness
heavenly host fall before you in worshipthis episode took place yesterday:
guy: 'scuse me sir, can i have a minute of your time?
me: sure
guy: don't worry, i'm not some charity foundation asking for money, i'm just a spokesman for these poor kids, who came from broken family, single parent family, (blah blah went on for 1 minute)
me: uhm okay.
guy: don't worry, no money in involved, (hands me cup-candle sovenier thing) we're actually giving this out for free (note this FREE word) as a token of appreciation for your time. but we also need your support in funding (a substitute for money) our drive, so we're not asking for 20dollars, or 30dollars, just a seeming 10dollars would be fine.
me: i have no money. i just came back from school.
guy: not a cent at all?
me: uh huh.
guy: (snatch the candle away) bye
----
now, how juvenile, how typical.
school was awkward.
i think i'll just stay away.
dudette
myprayer` 5:26 AM
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
|
current:
song| beautiful letdown
by| switchfoot
mood| zero
until i found out,
that i don't belong here;
it's a beautiful letdownmonday was eventful.
packed with heartbreaking/heartwarming nonsenses.
the tension was elevated at a supreme level,
while the rage, though minute, churned like the angry ocean.
as the misunderstood understood the understandable,
while others set nonchalent about the affair.
words that should never be heard;
"i'm scared of you"caused an eruption of anger.
pain.
hurt.
REVLATION.
yes, 'nuff said.
i'll just creep away as slowly as i can.
i still love ya'll.
YES. and i'm very much confused.
"i'm sorry but i can't forget the way i feel everytime you're herewhat am i spos to say? =\i fear the undeniable consequences.
myprayer` 5:16 AM
Sunday, May 08, 2005
|
current:
song| screaming infidelities
by| dashboard confessional
mood| pok-juish
as for me i wish that i was anywhere, with anyone making out
i hope you're as happy, as you're pretending
your hair; it's everywhere
screaming infidelitiestoday turned out quite well.
we tunneled through town;
ate and walked around stalking losers.
penny and benny1, 2. (names changed to protect the not-so-innocent)
so in the end,
we got tired and sat down,
took hella lot of
retarded fun pictures.
1, 2, 5 poses.
her in my shoes,
me in
her slippers.
don't hate me,
i take it back.
everything would be just fine.
as long as i'm with you - in the corner of my heart.eighteenladder49 isn't gone afterall
---
YDEREK LOVES ME
DAMN A LOT MANYMANY.
just throw it back, for one more night
on a starlit and moon-struck night
the ground did fold and eat us
bothbut all my love, I did devote
<3
I don't have to pretend to be happy.
You know you're
the only one who makes me truly happy.
myprayer` 10:29 PM
Friday, May 06, 2005
|
current:
song| nobody puts baby in the corner
by| fall out boy
mood| minute
i'll be your best kept secret and your biggest MISTAKE
the hand behind this pen relieves a failure everyday.
i keep my jealousy closeyeah. i have nothing much to say.
i thought i'd be fine,
but i'm not.
not until i'm told it was all a big mistake.
=\i don't wanna be a mistake.
i don't want all we ever had to be a mistake.so through it all,
the pretence was so strong that i became nothing but a mistake in the end.i never took it lightly,
but facing this unbearable situation; i'm forced to believe.
it was all ONE BIG FUCKING mistake.
myprayer` 11:07 PM
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
|
current:
song| angels
by| robbie williams
mood| clean
through it all, she offers me protection
alot of love and affection;
i know that life won't break me-
i'm loving angels insteadheiheihei,
i packed my room today. and everything looks great.
i had my southpark (kenny;cartman;kyle;stan) southtoys up,
after my boxers are done washing,
i would place it beside the gang.
hoho.
i feel spastic,
i made my dogtoy wear my hoodie,
and now it's nesting at the corner of my bed looking all comfortable.
m&m's peanut butter is DAMN GOOD.DAMN GOOD.DAMN GOOD.
life seems so much better now,
thank
you hazel.
you're a beloved neighbour/friend/softball-anytime-khaki.
here's a <3 for you ehehe.
and i realised everyone else pretty much WOULD have to go through shit once in awhile.
and we don't just rest in the pit,
we get out.
and i need help getting out.
two schoolless days has made me realised how much i miss my class/gang.
05S2/sonTEN'iers HERE I COME HOHOHO.
now am i not a deluded child,
well, i'd rather decieve myself and live in a lie,
a lie that'll (hopefully) lighten my load
you HATE me. yes you do <3
myprayer` 6:14 PM
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
|
current:
song| 24
by| switchfoot
mood| better
24 finds me, the 24th place. there's 24 dropouts at the end
life is not what i thought it would be;
24 hours agoi'm sure the phase has to pass.
and it's pretty obvious everything that has a beginning has to come to an end somehow.
still i've always wondered if anything good could last.
when would i not be the second man?
and as typical as it seems,
i would say i'm not over it.
but what can a recollection of pains do to solve the puzzles of my life;
i've decided to trust in him again.
i've believed before,
that God existed.
not as far as i thought he would be,
he doesn't JUST exist in heaven, nor ONLY in the beginning of time.
he exists in my heart.
not so far away,
always with me.
so right now,
i'm just waiting for YOU to say you hate me.
you won't be reading this, i know you won't
you're far too busy with anyone and everyone else.
silly derek has nothing to lose.
i thank God for friends that never left me.
my migrane is killing me.
myprayer` 9:47 PM
|
current:
song| lullaby
by| pedro the lion
mood| burnt out
rest in me little david
and dry all your tears
you can lay down your armor
and have no fear
'cause I'm always here
when you're tired of running
and I'm all the strength that you need
my hopes like autumn is turning brown;everything i want,
everything i desire,
everything i need i find in you.
my SOURCE of strength
my source of life,
you are the air that i breathe.
to you i sing;
to you i lift my hands and praise - the one i love,
i live for youso the wake was alright,
but i'm having an extreme migrane now.
i think my brain might just pop out anytime soon,
and again i taste the
life in my mouth,
the dry air that coicides scares me.
althou i'm 17.
...death isn't that far away after all
myprayer` 12:53 PM
|
current:
song| -
by| -
mood| crazy
i'm at my cousin's house
at my grandpa's wake.
ciao
myprayer` 12:41 AM
Sunday, May 01, 2005
|
current:
song| wonderwall
by| oasis
mood| ignored
and after all... you're my wonderwalli never thought u'd apprecaited it anyways.
well. lets just hope i'll forget you soon enough;
and you can be happy.
though i doubt i'll be.
myprayer` 3:49 PM
